Think of these six needs as water bottles. When we are stable and fulfilled in life all the water bottles are filled up. The problems come when one drinks from them, spills the water, or shares the water. As they become empty one is frantic to get them refilled. Our bottles include:
Need #1-Certainity
This is the most fundamental human need. It is a survival need, meaning we have to have some security in knowing what to expect. This need pertains to food, shelter, shelter, emotional stability, and wholesome progress in life. And most of us work hard and smart to satisfy this need. We try to bypass everything and anyone who can hinder the attainment of this. This need can be satisfied through various means i.e getting a job, learning new skills, investing, starting a business, eating right ,,, etc.
Need#2- Variety
If everything was constant or similar life would be boring. Nature is beautiful because it has the element of variety. Different plants, animals, geography, seasons, and colors. These make life interesting and enjoyable. People innately want to see and do new things and naturally despise complacency. Humans want to discover, learn, and experience different. You can get variation by reading a new book, moving to a new place, changing jobs, and hanging out with random people.
Need#3- Significance
The need to feel important, influential, unique, or valued. We have the desire to be recognized and noticed for our personalities, character, achievements, abilities, and talents. Even if people claim to dislike attention, they need to feel special. In truth, competition and achievement fill the need for significance for most people. Unfortunately, anger can also be used to fill the bottle. For instance, one can yell to draw attention.
Similarly to having significant problems. Because problems are more readily accessible than legitimate success. For some people, solving problems makes them feel valuable.
Need#4- Love and Connection
Regardless of what we may lie to ourselves and say to avoid pain, there is a deep desire in all of us for human connection. No man is an island. We need to love and be loved as well as get involved and involve other people. We remain deeply connected to others through work, joy, or suffering.
Most of us go for connection because love is difficult, scary, and risky. You have to pay higher for love than for connection. It is expensive and requires more vulnerability and courage. We can satisfy this need through social gatherings, team building, conversations, etc.
Need#5- Growth
The need for constant growth is useful and probably a little less dangerous than the other needs. We continually need to improve, expand, and get stronger. If there is no growth then we are wasting away. Not living to our potential hurts us and sometimes we feel out of place. Lack of growth produces guilt, resentment, anger, and shame. You know improving by 1 percent is not noticeable but it can be by far more meaningful, especially in the long run. Growth contributes to the formation of our identity and validates that we are living well.
Need#6- Contribution
The need to contribute to the betterment of other people is more of a spiritual or metaphysical need. We need to share good things with others. We need to help to make other people’s lives better and uplift them with our experiences and knowledge. All this gives more meaning and value to our lives. Offering our time, talents, and treasures to someone else is beneficial to both parties.
Which of the needs do you value most?