Most of us are Christians, you know we believe in God and Christ even though we have not stepped in church for the last one to three years. Some of us say we ditched church not God. This aside, I am referring to the guys who attend church almost every Sunday and some have leadership positions. I mean they are ” filled”, coated in “righteousness”. And keep in mind dating isn’t courtship.
Once upon a time my friend was close to a Rastafarian. They were close, they could talk and discuss on a bunch of topics. The guy was respectful, never ever was he interested in knowing what house she lived in, or what kind of food she cooked. They always hanged out in town talked for hours, and enjoyed fast-food. And that was it.
Back to the point; she was safe with the guy who was looking up to knowing God more each day than,,,. When she went out on a date with solid Christian men building deeper relationships with God. Sadly, not one of those dates bloomed into a relationship. Why? Because dating isn’t so simplistic its complicated. If she was safe why did she change the tune? “God’s side is safe, and peaceful. Once you filter out the weed then you good to go” she said and I 100% agree with her.
When values crush
Firstly, Christian dating is not as rosy and innocent as it appears. People confuse values and morals, where purity is optional, abstinence is a struggle, curiosity and the need to experiment is 100%, and the intention for marriage is wrong. Let me tell you Maina she once could end up in prison if that “Christian guy” didn’t leave her house. (story for another day)
I point this to the lack of information and mentoring on Christian dating as a main source of the relationship disasters that are rampant today. The amount of conflicting or straight-up bad advice is overwhelming in Christian circles, yes, even by beloved pastors and godly married couples. Additionally, most of us are just ignorant, want to “play it safe”, lack self-control, and lack direction or reason to be with someone. Unfortunately, some of us are raised in pretense.
Respect for women
Secondly, players in the secular world teach the concept of “Consent” and self-respect than in a Christian setup. Even though some of those in the secular world do not practice that, at least they are taught about it. A study conducted by SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE shows that a good number of women prefer marrying a guy who committed to Christianity later in life than those born in church. I also have no idea why but most hearts are broken within the Church.
All the same there are men who are amazing Christians and respect women as well as themselves. However, they say that men treat women inline with the value they see or place in a woman. This option is still being figured out.
I believe that Christian men are better than non-Christian men
Lastly, the fact that some guys in church aren’t responding to medication, there are those perusing purity, godly relations and are intentional. I believe that men who know Jesus are kind, loving, strong, and authentic. And are emotionally mature plus have integrity.
Nonetheless, non-Christians may snap any time. They may appear harmless and all loving but the darkness inside may erupt any moment especially when stepped on or triggered. Meaning dating could be easy – coz you are watching your boundaries while marriage will be impossible. In truth if you find it safe to be with non-Christians while you are a Christian you are definitely in a toxic environment. On the other hand you have no idea who you are in Christ or where you are headed.
I recommend having discernment, to separate the weed from the wheat. If you’ve been hurt by a “Christian” am sorry. On the bright side take it as a lesson and look into you.
my friend is doing good. cheers!