What is a boundary?
A boundary can be defined as a line that marks the limits of an area. It is also a limit of something abstract, especially as a subject of activity. It is something you set or can set on what you will accept of your actions and choices or of another person’s words or actions.
Boundaries are a form of self-care. They protect us physically and emotionally. Setting them is easy as we do so when envisioning our ideal environment or wanting to escape from or achieve something. However, many of us feel guilty when we prioritize our needs, set boundaries, and practice self-care.
Boundaries keep us safe and living in alignment with our values. We tend to keep our needs last, often sacrificing our own well-being to avoid conflict or make others happy. And there are days when we do not realize when we go overboard. This is why it is important to review and remind oneself of the set boundaries.
What are healthy boundaries and why are they important?
Without boundaries, we run the risk of “losing ourselves”. We go to a space where we don’t know how we feel, what we’re interested in, or what we want. We let other people make decisions for us. We give and give without receiving in return. And we run the risk of being manipulated, used, and abused because we aren’t putting any limits on how others can treat us.
Boundaries create a space or separation between you and someone else. A physical boundary, such as stepping away from someone or closing a door, literally creates more space between you and others.
An emotional or mental boundary helps you separate your feelings, needs, beliefs, and interests from others’. An example of an emotional or mental boundary is stating your opinion or not accepting the blame for someone else’s angry outburst.
Boundaries create safety.
Boundaries are guidelines and expectations that we set in relationships. Boundaries help both parties understand how to behave; what behavior is acceptable and what won’t be tolerated. If you feel unsafe or on edge with someone, there’s probably a lack of clear and consistent boundaries.
Boundaries strengthen your sense of self.
Boundaries are also central to your identity and sense of self. Without boundaries, it’s hard to distinguish where you end and someone else begins; you feel like a chameleon always morphing into who other people want you to be rather than having a strong sense of who you are.
Time and energy to do things that nourish and bring joy to your body, mind, and spirit.
And, finally, when you say “No” to things you don’t want to do and people who drag you down, you can say “Yes” to spending time with people who fill you up emotionally, activities that you’re interested in, and enjoy, and to a happier, healthier self.